To Norman, My Friend

“A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure” Sirach 6:14

In life generally, people like to be friends with those they consider popular, smart, good-looking, or from whom they can derive some kind of benefit. To find someone who looks beyond these things, to look at the ‘you’ within, your inner personality, takes one who is willing to get to know you and to share of himself. Such was Norman. He would often look at you intently as you spoke to him, engaging you with his warmth, asking questions, genuinely interested in you and what you had to say. I never remember him being in too much of a hurry to stop and listen to me. That was why you were able to cross boundaries, Norman. Color, creed or rank did not matter to you. You welcomed all and accepted all, seeing in each person his/her inner beauty. You were genuine and open-minded, making others feel comfortable in your presence. To find a friend like you is to find a treasure indeed.

Although we had made acquaintance briefly at the Orientation, our friendship really began the day we met on Mayfield Rd. I was walking then to school one Saturday morning. Unknown to me, you had spotted me and pulled up your car some distance further ahead. You waited for me patiently until I had reached your car and then you beckoned me to join you. I was so surprised that hadn’t attempted to signal me earlier by blowing your horn or flagging me and when I asked you about it, all you said was “It’s alright. I had bought some cookies on my way, anyway, so I ate them while I waited for you”. You know what I thought? It’s rare to find someone who is that ready to wait on you even if he has cookies to while away the time with!

After that, you became our teacher. In our little study group of five, you often were the one teaching us all those hard to crack concepts in Statistics, Finance and Economics. To my mind, you really didn’t need those discussion meetings because you knew it all, but you came to share your knowledge and to teach. In business school where people are hard pressed for time and every minute counts, it’s hard to find people who offer so much of their time just teaching others, and making sure that everyone in the group understands. After our meetings, and on several other occasions, you offered me a ride back home. I remember on one particular occasion we ended our meeting so late it was 4.00am when we were leaving campus, all exhausted and weary-eyed. You waited until I had disappeared into my apartment before driving off.

Oh yes, you loved a lot of fun too and lived life to the fullest! After all that hard work, when the first semester came to an end, we promised ourselves some fun and went out to the movies. We spent the rest of that evening at your apartment – all four of us – eating, drinking, chatting, and just teasing each other. That has been my best night ever in Cleveland!

Norman, it was always REFRESHING to see you because you had a ready smile and a listening ear, in the midst of our stressful MBA program. You would often tease with a very straight face, and whenever I said you were naughty because of that, you would look at me with that twinkle in your eye and pretend you didn’t know what in the world I was talking about.

And so when you mentioned to me that you wanted to do the exchange program in Spain next semester, I found myself asking how second year was going to be like without you in the first semester. I immediately knew it won’t be the same and that I’d miss you dearly, but I went ahead and prayed that you’d get the slot since there were only 2 of them left, and you really wanted to go. Eventually, you changed your mind and I was glad & relieved. Little did I know that I was going to be robbed of you anyway by death.

My pain today is not because I do not know what has happened to you or where you are. I believe firmly that you are with God right now where you truly belong. My pain is because I will miss you. I will miss your smile, I will miss your friendship, I will miss the joy that came with seeing you each time. But I take consolation in the beautiful memories you have left me with, and I am thankful that I got to know you and for the many lessons there are to be learned from your life.

Norman, sleep peacefully.

God bless you and keep you until we meet again

Love,

Rosemary Atepor